I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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