thus making me awesome and them whores
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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