Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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