She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
