Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
