I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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