its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
