So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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