bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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