Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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