Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
