Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
