Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
