I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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