you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
