Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth

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(301): View more from Maryland

There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself

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(206): View more from Washington

My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..

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(206): View more from Washington

And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny

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(201): View more from New Jersey

just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.

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(313): View more from Michigan

The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.

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(214): View more from Texas

Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.

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(516): View more from New York

Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Can you come over?

(1-615): View more from Tennessee

Sex??

(615): View more from Tennessee

Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.

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