I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
