He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
