Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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