My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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