So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
