too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
