bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just gargled with NyQuil
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
