I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
