At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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