Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
