I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
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