that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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