Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
