The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
