If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
