Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
