So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
