She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
