is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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