it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
