what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
