I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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