Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
