i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
