Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
