Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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