I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
