all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
this just has baby written all over it
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
