In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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