Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
