We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
