3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
