just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
