fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
