when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
