Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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